Why people date other marrieds?
Talk about a loaded issue that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on ever since ancient times. Extramarital affairs can be fraught with troubles, cause sadness, and other harms. In addition you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness matter, finances, age difference, spiritual upbringing, remorse, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating married women.
Why do married people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are women seeking an affair. I think mainly though it is just the human nature, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Naturally we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us flee the world for a small period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone are able to switch the wish on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos humanity has erected against affairs. For many people the yearnings will beat their worries and make them risk the wrath of not only their family, but the public too. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is horribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your spouse or anyone else? You would need to lessen the danger you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest cluster, enormous actually. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they feel comfy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the children to think about. Your finances are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay as a family besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An extramarital affair at times solves the problem while keeping the marriage whole.
Neglect, sadly this is a ordinary reason I fear. One or the other, frequently the guy is sexually neglecting his woman for a tones of reasons. As a man I actually am grateful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them obtainable to us males of romance, making them “hot milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be compassion is not here, maybe it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply grown distantly, our general interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.